It’s your first birthday without you. It’s our first Bill-Birthday without you.

You’re so cute.

You’re so funny.

I remember how you could eat any number of Thanksgiving dinners one right after the other and still keep your 29″ waist jeans.

I remember the cut-offs you always swam in that had too many holes to be respectable.

I remember when you visited me in Los Angles and we sang “narcissistic” songs all night long. “I love me, for sentimental reasons. I hope I do believe me; I’ve given me my my my my my; given me my heart because I mmmmmmm- me, and I alone was meant for me…..”

We laughed so hard we almost peed.

I wish Mom had given in and moved to Los Angeles and you had come too, and we had bought that property in Venice with the three houses on one lot. I feel like we could have lived happily ever after there. But, no one was ever ready to compromise for the other. That’s how we are. We love each other, and we love our freedom. And we can’t seem to give one up for the other.

I miss you.

I hope you’re somewhere and not nowhere even though nowhere is where I am sure we all go someday.

I hope you’re happy.

It won’t be your birthday without you.

It won’t be Thanksgiving without you. And who knew, when you were sick and missed last year, that you wouldn’t be here for cake and pie this year? We didn’t expect 2020, and really who did?

I’m thankful you were my big bother of all the big brothers I could have had. I think you were the best.

Except you left.

Too early.

Too quickly.

I miss you.


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